Unfortunately, it does happen. Unfortunately, it happens more often than we would like.
I have been more "off" than "on" lately. Truthfully, I've gained back 20 pounds. Gulp. It was hard to say that out loud here on the WWW. Let's see if I can publish this. LOL. I will. I know I will because that what Inspired by Shannon is about. It is about being honest. And while I thought I had this website and this blog, to be honest with you, I’ve learned it is about inspiring myself and being honest with myself.
I haven't posted or written a blog since April! Wow. That’s too long, and even then, I was not “on.” Since then, some things have happened. Discoveries about myself. Friendship dynamics have changed, family dynamics are changing, a vacation and a new job have happened. All great and exciting things! I let some, ok nearly all of them, become my excuses. Yep. I’ll eat off my WW plan cause I’m on vacation or can’t work out because of the new job. There are more excuses that I would find. You know the reasons because you have them too. A year ago, I didn’t know the word excuse. I was on a year ago.
I’ve been beating myself up over the past six weeks or so because I’m off. The pic with this blog from my vacation is not one I was excited to take. Last year’s vacation pic, I couldn’t wait to post. This one, not so much, is even more reason I am sharing it with you. I am not ashamed of my body. Yes, I have beat myself up, but I still have come a long way.
When I beat myself up, I find excuses, I emotionally eat and drink, and I’m not proud of myself. Then I started thinking this week; this is not how I got to the 50-pound weight loss. I got there by being nice to myself and putting myself as a priority—the exact opposite of what I’ve been doing lately.
Last night I granted myself permission to BEGIN AGAIN. As I lay in my bed (sucking on a jolly rancher 1 WW point) and being nice to myself. Reminding myself that I did a fantastic job last year focusing on myself, reminding myself that my health is a priority, that I am worth it, that I have a purpose, I matter and that I have more fun when I am “on.” I enjoyed exercising, eating right, finding new recipes, discovering new things about myself, and inspiring myself.
This morning I woke up quickly. I hopped up and headed out for a 4-mile bike ride, listening to mindset snippets on youtube. I came home feeling excited, remembering the power that I have in me, and suddenly I was “on.” I filled my gallon jug to the top. I ate a grapefruit and boiled eggs. Today I began again.
Tomorrow, I will begin again, again.
And I will do so again and again.